I have a confession to make.
This woman of faith has had some stinkin' thinkin'.
I have been looking at the circumstances I am dealing with, and
frankly, they are stressing me out.
This week my situation is coming to a head - a culmination of four
months of persecution. You would think I would be happy that there is
an answer in sight - but no! Knowing that this is concluding, but not
knowing the conclusion, is really wearing on me.
It reminds me of when I was going through my separation. As a woman
of faith, I did a lot of praying, we went to a lot of counseling, and
I stood on the Word and fought the good fight.
Eventually, though, divorce proceedings began. No Christian ever
wants to go through that - despite all the grounds in the world, which
I had, the ultimate goal is reconciliation through God's help. Well,
my ex wasn't interested in following God (still isn't), and he went
his way.
Even knowing that the divorce decree would be final, there was
something so hard about seeing it in paper. Looking at what was six
years of marriage, coldly laid out on a piece of paper. And here I was
with three kids, from a baby up to age 10, and I knew I was on my own,
financially and other support-wise.
Well, that was what my eyes saw. And that is what my logical mind told me.
Here's where you have to trust God, though. Nothing surprises Him -
it's not like on that day the judge banged his gavel and declared it
over that God in Heaven said "What was that? What just happened?"
Divorce broke my heart. It broke my kids hearts. It broke God's heart.
God hates divorce - I believe one of the main reasons He hates it is
because He knows the fallout that happens as a result of divorce. The
pain His children feel. The seperation from Him that happens all too
often as we withdraw from Him to lick our wounds.
It's a lot to deal with. If you are like me, you spend a lot of time
thinking about it. "Ruminating" it's called. The definition is to
turn it over in your mind. To "chew the cud". Just like cattle, we
turn it over in our minds. And over. And over.
If we are not careful, it will taint how we see the world. We can
become bitter about the opposite sex based on our experiences. Once
our rose colored glasses are off, then the harsh reality of being
divorced, dealing with the fallout, can make us have a negative
self-image. I wanted to be a wife and mother when I grew up - not a
divorcee! This was not the future I saw for me!
Ephesians 6:10-12 talks about the battle. Here it is in the New King
James Version:
"10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of
His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to
stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against
flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against
the rulers of the darkness of this age,[a] against spiritual hosts of
wickedness in the heavenly places."
And now, the Message version:
Eph. 6:10-12 "And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants
you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you,
well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you
will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This
is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget
about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight
to the finish against the Devil and all his angels."
Although your ex may appear to be the enemy - they are not. The enemy
is satan, who is out to destroy your family - and ultimately you!!
This is a war that is waged from the moment we decide to follow
Christ! If he can destroy the family - well, look at the damage it
creates.
That's not what God wants for us - He says His Word in John 10:10 (NKJV):
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.
I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more
abundantly."
So what can we do when our vision is tainted by the discouraging
thoughts of situations going on?
Practice mindfulness.
This sounds like a new-age term, but it boils down to this - be
conscious of what you are thinking about. Be aware of what you are
looking at. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth. Think
about what you are thinking about! Be aware of your body!
The other day I was especially upset as I drove home from work, and I
became aware that my fists were clenched, my body was tense. So I
purposely took a deep breathe, and released the tension. I had to do
that repeatedly on the way home. BUT...there was a time I wasn't even
aware of my posture, of what my body was doing. Stress impacts every
area of our lives - physical, emotional, spiritual. We need to be
aware of it's presence, so we can lessen it's impact.
Change the atmosphere. As I write this, I have Celtic worship playing
in my earbud in my left ear. Every day in this situation where I am
hanging in limbo, I have listened to Christian music, and that is a
sure fire way to get rid of stinkin' thinkin'.
Read the Word. Replace the negative self talk with the Word. If you
begin to memorize verses that God is using to minister to you, when
you realize you are starting to ruminate on the situation, then recite
in your mind - or out loud, even better! - the Word! Go to the Psalms
if you are looking for a place to find encouragement. Get a good
concordance or topical Bible, and if you have a specific area of
concern, look up verses about it. And write them down. And speak
them. This also works great at changing how we see things.
Be grateful. We live in the wealthiest country in the world, and the
poorest American is far richer than the vast majority of people on the
planet. Thank Him - for the oatmeal you ate for breakfast. For clean
water. For a roof over your head. For your kids. For your health.
For the beautiful planet He gave us to live on until we go to our
Home.
As I have mentioned, nature really helps me - my family and I were in
Georgia this last weekend, walking around Pine Mountain, and just
appreciating the crunch of leaves under our feet. The towering trees.
The peaceful lakes. The beautiful butterflies in the butterfly
house. The ability to walk and talk and breathe. The picture I
attached was taken as we walked out of the butterfly house. It is a
halo around the sun - you can see the edge of it - and then the most
stunning prism I have ever seen. For a minute, it was like a glimpse
of Heaven, where a rainbow surrounds the throne (Rev. 4:3).
We live in one of the most beautiful places in the nation - get out
there and walk on the beach. It is very beautiful this time of year -
different than summer, but amazing, still. Listen to the whoosh of
waves sliding over the sand. Watch the sand pipers run up and down the
surf. Empty your mind of your troubles and just appreciate.
Blessings -
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