Changing Course

Changing Course 

Good morning, good afternoon, or good day! 

I'm writing this from the Atlantic Ocean, heading to St. Thomas today. I know the course, I know the itinerary, and unless there is a storm or other unforeseen event, I know where my life will be heading for the next few days.

The Carnival magic was not so lucky. She sailed with a destiny of Mexico, and then it was discovered that there was a passenger onboard that may have touched the blood samples from the deceased Ebola patient. So the ship sat outside the coast of Mexico, unable to move forward or back, stuck by a situation beyond it's control. Eventually, it was sent back to Texas, full of frightened and disappointed travelers.  They had left for a fun filled vacation, and it turned into a nightmare. 

When I was a little girl. All I wanted to be when I grew up was a wife and mother. I didn't aspire for a career - I wanted to take care of my family, which is the highest calling.

Yet five years into my marriage, I had a wayward spouse who was living with  another woman, and I had a baby, a five year old, and I was sitting at the bedside of my 11 year old son, who had a chronic health issue that had him admitted to the hospital more time in a year than I could count. I was a high school graduate  with a semester of college behind me, working a barely over minimum wage job.

Certainly I didn't plan that.  When I got married, I wasn't even thinking that one day he would leave me for another, especially when I had a new baby, and a sick child.  But leave he did, and with no financial support . I was too overwhelmed to even consider what to do .


As I sat at my sons bedside, I glanced over my shoulder and looked out the window. I took in the trees, the cars passing on the street below...and then I noticed, for the first time, the building outside the room. 

It was a college of nursing. 

My mind began to work.  If I became a nurse, I would certainly always have a job. I would always have health insurance. For the first time in a long time, I had a glimmer of hope.

Of course I had no idea how I was going to accomplish this. That story is for another letter.  Through the support of my friends and my church, and through hard work and Pell grants, I graduated from nursing school in May of 1997. A divorcee with a 2 1/2 year old, a six year old, and a 12 year old struggling with a lifelong autoimmune disease. 

I didn't know how I could do it.  I didn't know if I could stand the sight of blood! I had no idea what I was getting myself into. 


God knew.  I know it broke His heart when the marriage was destroyed, but He knows the beginning from the end. Nothing takes Him by surprise. 

I had no idea what to do, but I threw myself at His feet, and He directed my course. 

He is the captain of my ship . In Proverbs it says His Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. His plans are for my good - Jeremiah 29:11. 

Sometimes we get off course. Sometimes we make decisions that we know are wrong for us. Sometimes things happen to us beyond our control, and we deal with the fallout. 

The solution to both those situations is to go back to where the Rock is - God.  Cry out to Him. Pour out your heart, your pain, your fear.  Ask for forgiveness if you need to, repent of anything you have to, get clean and erase  the course you were on. Grieve it...and then let it go.  

It's not what you had planned. You may have no idea what you're going to do. 

Put it in the capable hands of your Father.  Make Him captain of your life. He will never, ever let you down. He knows where you need to go. 


Trust in Him.