Come, Just As You Are...But Don't Stay That Way

There is a term I learned back in my charismatic days of my youth. 

"Greasy Grace"

Basically it's using the grace of God to stay stagnant in your sinful state. The grace of God covers us - but not without a price. 

Grace is often described as God's unmerited favor. We can't do anything to gain it - or lose it. 

This is not an excuse to live like you want. 

Becoming a Christian means striving daily to be more like Christ. 

How do you do this?

Luke 9:23 "Then He said to them all, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me."

Christ carried His cross to Golgotha - and died on it. 

Died for all who would follow Him. Making that initial choice means taking up your cross...and choosing to die. Every day. 

Die to what? Well let me give you the list of what I have to die to daily. At least one, if not several, of the sins listed below. My spirit follows God - but every day there is a battle against the flesh, which looks like this:

The Seven Deadly Sins:

Lust (Matthew 5:28)

Gluttony (Proverbs 15:19)

Greed (Ephesians 4:19)

Laziness (Proverbs 15:19)

Wrath (Proverbs 15:1)

Envy (1 Peter 2:1-2)

Pride (Proverbs 16:18)

Every. Single. Day. 

Yeah, God loves me. But He HATES sin! Sin separates me from God! 

No one talks about sin. It's not PC. 

If you're going to follow Him, you have to deal with it. 

Not anyone else's. It's easy to point at the speck in someone else's eye and ignore the plank in your own. (Matthew 7:1-7)

The closer I get to God, the more my flesh rebels. The more I realize "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked" (Jeremiah 17:9). 

So pardon me while I take my cross up. While I work on me. 

I don't intend to be the same tomorrow. 

One day at a time. Until He brings me home...

LS

Missing The Path

We all headed down the path to matrimony with one goal - the elusive happily ever after. 

It didn't work that way. 

Maybe your spouse strayed off the straight and narrow. 

Maybe you did. 

Now you find yourself lost, alone, adrift. 

Or you've gotten back on track..you're just not sure it's the RIGHT track. 

You know there is hope out there, but how do you find it? Where is it?

Proverbs 14:12 (NKJV) "There is a way that seems right to a man, but it's end is the way of death"

We don't trust ourselves.  We have a hard time trusting others.  

Who CAN you trust? 

Proverbs 3:5-6 has been a favorite of mine for a long time, for it says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart,and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Trust. 

In God. Who is Lord of your heart. (Is He?)

With ALL your heart. 

Don't try and figure it out yourself. 

Acknowledge Him in ALL your ways. 

That's a biggie...but the payoff is huge. 

And He will direct your PATHS.  

I know I don't want to go the wrong way again. I know I don't want to go around the mountain again, suffer from a lesson I should've learned. 

So I listen to the stIll small voice. 

"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow me." (John 10:27)

Do you know Him? Then His voice is still there....shhhh...still your mind. Get quiet with Him. Cry out to Him. 

He KNOWS you. 

Follow Him. He is the Way, the Truth, and the life (John 14:6). 

Tonight on the way home from work, a magnificent sunset was forming. I love photography, and I really wanted to capture the majesty I knew would be right around the corner. 

As I entered my neighborhood, the sun dipped below the horizon. 

Frustrated, I passed my street and headed to the ponds, where I was SURE I was going to get "the" shot, the perfect answer to my quest. 

I rounded the curve, and no brilliant hues were noted. Just grey clouds. I was frustrated. I knew something majestic was there. Disappointed, I went to turn home...then the voice of God said "go straight". 

So I did. Back to the front of the neighborhood.  I was turning to go home, when I looked to the left...and was transfixed!

The waning sun was reflected in the clouds, a wide open palette of pastel pinks and purples, ethereal in appearance. Like nothing I had seen! I hastily parked, jumped out of the car, and praised God! It wasn't the direction I thought it was going to come from. It wasn't what I expected. It surpassed my expectations!

In the few moments I stood in awe, another amazing scene was setting up behind me. 

I turned to go back to the car, and the second picture came into glorious view. I was surrounded by beauty - different in its manifestation, but awesome in its own way. 

I almost turned back. I thought I had missed it. 

Do you think you have missed the mark?

Gotten so far afield there is no finding the Light?

Seek ye first the kingdom of God - and HIS righteousness. And all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33). 

Never give up.

He will never give up on you. 

LS

Weighing In On Porn Addiction - And The Duggars: A Victim's Tale

Warning: I'm getting very vulnerable. I do it to help another churched victim... Hopefully more than one. 

A previous suitor of mine was a porn addict.  And a predator. 

Upstanding in the community, handsome, had a great job,was respected by his peers, and a leader in church. He knew the Bible front to back. 

He found me at a vulnerable point in my life. He could spy a victim a mile away. He wooed me. Kept boundaries. Followed timing. Said the right things. 

We got engaged. 

He raped me. 

Yeah, I should have dumped the psychopath then, but my Christian guilt held me. I was naive. I prayed for help.

We married. Soon, it degraded into mental and emotional abuse. Physical abuse that had me throwing him in jail. Physical abuse to the boys that I found out about later. 

The goal for him was not me, though. It was my toddler daughter. He used me to get to her. 

I was going to a family centered non-denominational church. I would tell them my concerns and participated in marital counseling. I was told to submit to my husband. My concerns were not heard - NO one believed me. 

I was once divorced and didn't want to be divorced again.

Once I found out he was physically abusing the boys, and had worse plans for my daughter, I left. Immediately. 

So here's my take on the Duggar situation. 

There is definitely a misogynistic bend to to some churches. I didn't have any self esteem, but I did love God and I wanted a church family. 

I've seen a lot of evil done in the name of God. 

It's not God's fault - it is sinful humanity. 

I believe in forgiveness - but I also believe in prosecution. 

I don't believe a child molester can get better. I think they need to be away from children. They break kids. Who then will have a lifetime of scars. 

I know the culture of church submission. To submit is to willingly give your power over. 

Or is it?

If you are weak emotionally, if you don't esteem yourself, if you don't know your power, how can you willingly give it? You can't. 

I found out from the next girl, who was on the chain as soon as I fled, that she, too, was raped. We wept as we told each other our all too similar stories. 

I forgive the psychopath daily. I do not forget. 

Unfortunately, he is not in prison. 

He belongs there. 

And so does Josh Duggar, in my opinion. Getting therapy, but doing time. The wife should run and not look back - I did. But my dad had my back. And I had a career. I had an escape. 

She may have the money to flee, but will she?

It's a bad situation. 

It's time to shine the light on evil that church covers up. 

Only then will it be properly - and legally - addressed. 

LA

Pressing On

This morning I was out in the sweltering heat, working on my goal ;) of walking/run training.  There is a LOT on my plate right now, and it is about all I can to to squeek out a "help me" prayer.  

 

Today it was broiling hot at 0730, high humidity. I was exhausted from lack of sleep.  AND the kicker - I also am dealing with shingles, just as painful as everyone says.

 

I needed to follow through. I want to be disciplined and steadfast.  Unfortunately, this also corrosponds to loooooongsuffering.  

 

(Sidebar - you need to hear Robert Lloyd speak on longsuffering).

 

So as I struggled up and down the hills of my 5 mile run/walk that turned into a walk, I was turning over these situations in my head.  Situations that have lasted way longer than I thought they would.  Knowing I am standing on the Word of God, knowing I have heard from Him, over and over, even today - that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.  

 

And yet...I am suffering.  In so many areas. I asked God why. 

 

His answer?  "Daughter, this is not your home."

 

Of course I want resolution. Of course I want peace and harmony and order!! But it may not happen this side of heaven.

 

Who wants to suffer? No one.  

 

Welcome to the planet.

 

John 16:33New Life Version (NLV)

³³ I have told you these things so you may have peace in Me. In the world you will have much trouble. But take hope! I have power over the world!” 

1. You will have peace...IN HIM.  The secret to peace is In Christ alone.  It's the only way to have peace.

2. YOU WILL HAVE MUCH TROUBLE. Not if you are a bad person. Not unless you follow step a-d and are a good person.  There will be much trouble, period.  Before, after, during your separation and divorce.  And the rest of your life.

3. TAKE HOPE!  Take hope because Christ has power over the world!

No matter what your situation, realize that everyone is either going into something, in the midde of something, or coming out of something.

 

Cling to Him, and His Word.

 

He will see you through.

Imprisoned by Circumstance

My husband and I were doing our nightly Bible reading and this passage literally JUMPED out at me. I knew the Lord had a message for us from this. 

Acts 16:16-24 (NKJV)

Paul and Silas Imprisoned

16Now it happened, as we went to prayer, that a certain slave girl possessed with a spirit of divination met us, who brought her masters much profit by fortune-telling. This girl followed Paul and  us, and cried out, saying, "These men are the servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to us the way of salvation." And this she did for many days.

But Paul, greatly annoyed, turned and said to the spirit, "I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her." And he came out that very hour.  But when her masters saw that their hope of profit was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to the authorities.

And they brought them to the magistrates, and said, "These men, being Jews, exceedingly trouble our city; and they teach customs which are not lawful for us, being Romans, to receive or observe." Then the multitude rose up together against them; and the magistrates tore off their clothes and commanded them to be beaten with rods. And when they had laid many stripes on them, they threw them into prison, commanding the jailer to keep them securely.  Having received such a charge, he put them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in the stocks.

Paul and Silas were out doing what they do - serve the Lord.  They were being hassled by a possessed girl.  They did what God called them to do - got the evil spirit to leave the girl.  The local yocal that owned her didn't believe in God and didn't appreciate their service to the girl.  

So they were beaten for doing what they were called to do.  Then they were put in the inner prison.

According to www.mpumc.org, this kind of prison was "dug out of solid rock and were underground.  Prisoners, their guards, and their provisions were lowered through an opening the size of a manhole.  This manhole was the only means of entrance and exit.  Rain and debris from the market and from the animals easily dropped into this "house of darkness".  Neither animal waste nor that of the prisoners found it's way out easily."

I don't know all your individual stories- but I know at one time you were doing what you thought you were supposed to be doing in life.  Suddenly you are thrust into these circumstances.  Regardless of the reason for the situation or the separation or divorce, I think we can agree that it is a dark place, indeed.  We are shackled - by litigation, by poverty, by laws, by our obligations, by sin,  etc. etc. etc. 

Those who don't know God will point the finger and harass you.  You are a Christian - why are you getting divorced? Why are you divorced?  Etc. On the inside, we ask ourselves the same thing.  We are in a dark place, and we don't want to be there.

BUT GOD...

Let's continue with Acts Chapter 16 (NKJV)

23

But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone's chains were loosed.  And the keeper of the prison, awaking from sleep and seeing the prison doors open, supposing the prisoners had fled, drew his sword and was about to kill himself.  But Paul called with a loud voice, saying "Do yourself no harm, for we are all here."

Then he called for a light, ran in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. And he brought them out and said, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?"

So they said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household." Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house.  And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their stripes.  And immediately he and all his family were baptized.  Now when he had brought them into his house, he set food before them; and he rejoiced, having believed in God with all his household.

That's a lot to chew on.

First off, despite being in a hole in the ground, filled with excrement, dark and dank - they were not complaining.  They were singing hymns.  Singing - in their dark, smelly, shackled condition. HELLO!  Boy does that convict me. I'm not afraid to say I've been guilty of stinkin' thinkin', not praise.

There was seemingly NO way out.  By mans estimation, there WAS no way out!! Then GOD!  They could not predict what was going to happen - and SUDDENLY there was the earthquake, doors opened, chains were loosed.  I'm sure no one predicted that happening...except Paul and Silas, perhaps.

PAUL and SILAS were so critical: in the midst of the mess, they praised God.  Then, once they were released, they cried out to the jailer and saved his life!  Both physically and spiritually. Then the jailer brought the good news to his family - and who know who else!

There are people desperate in your life - desperate to know God, desperate for Hope, desperate for the smallest kindness.  YES - you are in a dark, dank, smelly, seemingly hopeless place.

BUT GOD!

God sees you in that place.  AND He sees those around you.  Do you?   Do you realize that, even in the place of confusion and sadness and despair, there are those in your life that are looking to you.  Your children.  Your family.  Your friends.  People that you have a "random" interaction with.

The bottom line is this - God sees all, and He knows what to do.  We need to trust Him - and praise Him, keeping our eyes on Him, even in our despair.  

And then ask  Him how, even in this lowly state, we can serve Him by being a servant to those around us.

Have a blessed week...I challenge you to think on and study this passage.  Let the Lord speak to you...wherever you are!

Infrastructure

INFRASTRUCTURE
(noun) The basic physical and organziational structures and facilities
(e.g., buildings, roads, and power supplies) needed for the operation
of a society or interprise.


"The infrastructure problem is huge - and it's growing.  The American
Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE) estimates that the nation faces a
$2.2 trillion infrastructure backlog.  One of every eight bridges is
"structurally deficient", and 85 perecnt of public transit systems are
struggling to carry the growing number of riders.  As ASCE President
Blaine D Leonard puts it, "We are still driving on Eisenhower's roads
and sending our kids to Roosevelt's schools."

I first started thinking about this subject after the recent tragic
train crash in Pennsylvania.   If you don't take care of the roads,
the bridges, the buildings, they will break down eventually.  A lot of
the roads and bridges were never meant to carry the load that they
have going across them each and every day.

I'm not trying to get you to stay in your house in fear!  Instead, I
want to talk about a different infrastructure.

When you get married, you build something together - a new life.  You
take the raw material of two lives, and you begin to forge ahead into
the future.  You make plans - blueprints of where you want your life
to go.  You add kids, a home.  Pets.

All of these things you must take care of - guarding your heart,
protecting your children, caring for your pets.  Your house.  Your
yard.  You make repairs as they are needed.

Then comes the separation or divorce.  There may have been cracks in
the infrastructure, insidious as termites eating the foundation of
your home.

Or it may have come out of the blue...or so it seems.  Because the
most important infrastructure is in YOU.

We are spirits that have a body.  We have minds, will, and emotions.
What is on the inside of us?  Are we just a deck of cards, ready to be
blown over by the slightest breeze? Are we made of straw, or sticks,
like the fairy tale, ready to be blown down?

We can't go back and heal the deficiencies that were in our
infrastructure prior to our separation or divorce.  BUT...we can
identify what we need to do to heal, repair, strenghten, and continue
on the road set before us.

The first thing is the foundation - you must have a good, solid
foundation under your home.  Matthew 7:24 says "Therefore, whoever
hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise
man who built his house on the rock."

A strong foundation is primary.  A relationship with our loving God -
trusting Him.  That may be difficult right now.  You need to wipe the
slate clean - clear off the site of the old destruction and pain, and
let him set you on the Rock.  Then you can start building on that
foundation by reading the Word, praying, fellowshiping with other
Christian's.

The next step is to grow - a solid infrastructure doesn't just sit
there.  It has to change with time and tide.

John 15:5 says "I am the vine, you are the branches.  He who abides in
Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.
If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is
withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they
are burned. If you abide in Me, and in My words abide in you, you will
ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father
is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples."

When a home is not lived in, after a while the environment will take
over.  It is the same with our relationship with God - we need to
purpose to live in Him, and He in us.  It's a symbiotic relationship.
We glow closer to Him - He draws nearer to us.  We seek His help and
strength - He is our foundation and makes strong our inner being.

And our home!

How's your infrastructure?

Father's Day

I have agonized over this posting, and the Lord is gently guiding me.  So I am asking each one of you, male and female, to prayerfully consider this letter from a humble former divorced single mom.

First of all, we all got on this planet because of a mother and a father.  I don't know what your relationship is with your biological father, but if you have a good relationship - thanks be to God. If not so much, then ask God to heal your relationship if possible, and to heal your heart if not.  It's a foundational thing. 

What we think of our fathers- our relationship with our fathers - often will shape how we think of God.  Did you have a stern disciplinarian for a father?  Then you may have a view of God as the God of thunder and lightning and wrath.  Did you have a loving, nurturing relationship with your dad?  You probably have an easier time thinking of God as a loving father.  Absent father?  Then you really don't know what to think - and you may wonder how God could let you grow up without a father.

You can't solve the issues with your dad or lack thereof today- I am just asking you to pray about it.  God IS a loving God and He wants you healed, and whole.

Now I will talk to the fathers.  Thank you.  Thank you for being a part of your kids lives.  Thank you for loving them.  And trust me - they need you SO MUCH.  More than you will ever know.  They are looking to you for love, affection, attention, affirmation, example...etc.  

Some of you have more time with your kids than your ex.  Regardless of how much time you have - MAKE THE MOST OF IT.  I don't mean Disney Dad it (though y'all know I love Disney!).  I mean BE there when you are with them.  They may look like they are ignoring you  - they are not.  Play ball.  Have game night - yes, this still really works!  Read the Bible with them. Go for walks. Take them to the library.  Regardless of the status of your relationship with their mother, YOU are the head.  You set the tone of their upbringing - especially if you are the one trying to pick up your cross and work out your salvation daily.  YES they may see and experience things that you don't want them to when they are not with you - you have no control over that.  What you have control over is your time with them - make memories!  Cook dinner with them, even if it's a blue box of mac and cheese and hot dogs.  Take them to the beach.  Cuddle with them.  BE PRESENT.  Tell them you love them.  Every.  Single.  Day.  You may not have been raised this way - but trust me, you can learn a new habit, and your kids need to know that you are ROCK SOLID.  Give them a space that is theirs, that won't change.  Give them security - and you do that by being consistent.  

You are SO SO important.  Regardless of the status of your relationship with their mother, they need YOU.  You are shaping their future with every action - intentional or unintentional.  So live intentionally!

Now, mom's.  Some of you are able to amicably shuffle the kids back and forth.  Some don't see the ex at all, or the ex has disappeared.  Or died.  Same basic message - you are important.  They need  a mom.  Your kids need nurturing, love, stability, consistency.

And they need you not to badmouth their father. 

It's beyond not saying things TO them - don't say things AROUND them.  Talking to your friends at the ball game.  Talking on the phone in your room, you may not think they can hear you.  They can.  

My kids have a deadbeat dad who avoided paying child support, and thus any contact with his kids, for almost 20 years.  What did I tell them? I told them that he loved them as best he could.  That he was hurting and that is why he wasn't around - it wasn't their fault.  As time went on and they got older, the truth became apparent.  

That's the thing - you cannot badmouth the ex.  They are loyal to mom.  They are loyal to dad.  No matter how horrible, wrong, deserting, selfish, etc they are, the kids will think the best of their parents.  Don't burst their bubble. Life will come along soon enough.

So tell your kids that their absent father loves them.  And then tell them that their Father in Heaven loves them, and He is there for them, every day, no matter what.  Help them see God as Someone that loves them unconditionally.  Help set that foundation.  Help redeem the name of Father for them.  

I pray for you all today - that our gracious Heavenly Father will bring peace and hope to you today.