Well, I wait on Him to give me the subject for the newsletter - and boy did He hit me this time.
In the front of my house, there is a dogwood tree - I have loved the tree since I moved in in June of 2008. The tree has been here since The hubby and the kids moved in several years earlier. It is right in front of the porch, and every spring it would be the first to curl out fresh green leaves, right before it began its horizontal show of bright white flowers. It brought many smiles - I loved sitting on the porch, under the growing shade of the tree, watching the birds.
Over the past couple of years, I noticed a subtle change. I realized not as many branches were carrying leaves in the spring, and each year, there were less flowers. It was slow at first, but by this year, I knew there was a problem. The trunk and branches crackled bare, only a few leaves came out, and not a single flower.
The tree was dying.
It wasn't a sudden thing. I didn't wake up to branches on the ground - as a matter of fact, this very tree weathered the ice storm this year, providing a beautful lace pattern of icicles shimmering in the sun.
Yet it was dying, all the same. I hoped it wouldn't. I looked on hopefully, watching and waiting for a late bloom, perhaps. No, it was not to be. The life cycle of the tree had ended, and only a few leaves clung bravely on.
My spouse cut the tree down this afternoon. As he did, it revealed the picture attached -one half of the tree was rotten to the core, from the trunk to the roots. The other side was becoming sick due to its attachment to the sick trunk.
From the outside, the tree looked strong - but once we got it cut open, we got to the heart of the matter. And there was no saving it.
Beloved brothers and sisters, it is this way when a marriage dies. It isn't a sudden thing - it may seem so when you find out about an infidelity, or when you are battered that one last time, or when youself commit an indiscretion.
The rot starts on the inside - the insidious, damaging, eventually marriage killer called sin.
One of my favorite verses comes from Psalms 1:3
"He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf shall not wither, and whatever he does shall prosper"
The LIVING WATER is the Word of God! If we keep our mind on Him and on the things of God, we are less likely to fall victim to the temptations of the world.
Another reference in Psalms is 52:8
"But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever."
When we abide in Him, we are healthy, and protected, and whole.
One of the hardest things about divorce - at the time - is the seemingly sudden nature of it.
But it isn't sudden at all.
Most sin isn't .
People don't wake up one day and decide to destroy their marriage. Usually it starts with little compromises. A work conversation with a member of the opposite sex that God will check you on, but you ignore it and do it anyway. Going out with the girls, or the guys, and heading into places you know you shouldn't go...but going in anyways. Spending more time at the club then at the church. Etc etc etc. Little by little, our heart is moved away from God, and toward the world. We may look like we have it all together on the outside, but the inside is...rotten.
Look at the first part of that Psalm I started with ... Psalm 1:1-3 so you can see it in context:
"How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water. Which yields it's fruit in season. And it's leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers."
Recognizing the rot, the illness, the sin - that is the first step to reconciliation, the healing, to recovery. If the partner with the rotten core does not change, it will kill the marriage. The remaining spouse has to cut off the sick parts and move forward. It took a chainsaw to separate that tree. Don't think that it won't hurt when you separate what God joined together.
There is no shade in the front yard now - just a rotting stump. But we are going to let time soften it and bring healing to that place, and we will plant a new tree,and we will water it and let it flourish in the sun.
Let time soften you. Plant His Word firmly in your heart. Water yourself with the Word and flourish in the Son of God, who wants to heal you and grow you.
